June 10, 2009
(Wednesday)
Elixir @ The Opus Hotel, Yaletown
350 Davie Street

Pictage is a tool/resource access for professional photographers worldwide. For more detailed information about the services they offer to photographers, check out: http://blog.pictage.com/
Pictage is a recognized resource access for professional photographers in the U.S, alongside its other competitions. The concept is still a budding idea in Canada, and they had just introduced the company a couple of months ago. The company decided to bring in Tomas Galass to promote Pictage, either that or he volunteered to promote Pictage in Vancouver.

The meeting at Elixir was very laid back. There was like 10-15 people who came, a lot for a 1st pug meeting, according to Tomas. I was one of the three new ones who came to the pug meeting who wanted to check out further what Pictage was all about & to know more of what the service has to offer. I really like the laid back atmosphere of the meeting. It was like having beer/coffee with a bunch of friends with common interests. Most of them were wedding photographers, a couple are portrait photographers. Photo lingo was babbled all through out the night. The evening was meant soley for Pictage discussion, but we ended up just talking about Pictage for 15 minutes Updates was shared where Tomas told us that there’s a Pictage Conference in New Orleans on November 3-5. All through out the night the conversation was mostly on the networking possibilities & the viral nature of networking sites like facebook & twitter. We leaped from one photo topic to another. I learned about the other competitions of Pictage like SmugMug, the advantages & disadvantages of both services and interfaces. I was informed that SmugMug doesn’t have a good interface. You have to know CSS in order to go about it.

Backing up your drive was very informational for me and I appreciated learning about it from our discussions. I learned that DROBO (which made me think of this Filipino food, adobo whenever it was mentioned in the conversation It tickled my senses. Hehe!) is not recommendable, because it’s too pricey. They recommended that it’s always good to have 3 back-ups of the files: On-site, Off-site and one on a Digital railroad/cloud (I’m still unfamiliar with the concept). ‘m intrigued by these back up folders they talked about called “Carbon Copy Cloner” and “Super Dooper” there are other kinds of folders, but these are the most popular ones. They were talking about wedding forums and one of them mentioned that he paid a subscription to one called WFP, and Tomas shared that he prefers being on the look out on free sites. Why spend money when there’s lots of free information on the web? Why spend money on a forum that you wouldn’t have much time reading over, because of the busy schedule wedding photographers’ usually have.

It was really nice being around established photographers that night. I appreciated the fact that Tomas did not come out evangelical on us about Pictage. We were actually comparing its advantages & disadvantages alongside other similar service by different companies. He was very respectful about the different opinions presented by the dynamic group of photographers, and he opened up good questions that did not make me feel uncomfortable. Especially because, as how it usually is in these kind of meetings, I seem to be the youngest (youngest looking ) in the group. Tomas even told me that if I ever decide not to pursue being part of the Pictage family, I should still go to the monthly Pictage pug meetings, so that I have some sort of mini-community I could go too, where we could just hang out & talk about technical photography stuff. That was so nice of him, and I can imagine myself coming back to hang out with the troop every month if my availability allows it on the scheduled meetings.

June 16, 2009
(Tuesday)
Ray Lum’s Photo Studio @ Pine Street

Walter Borchenko of Toronto, the top representative in North America of the new Phase One camera did a presentation on the camera, alongside the Capture One Pro 4 software. Walter was this big hulk of a guy with that confidence that exudes an air of skepticism within my gutts, he looks like a healthier version of the artist Salvador Dali. I really like certain physical aspects of the camera. It’s easier to handle, it’s lighter than a D-SLR camera, full frame viewer, F2.8, has beautiful sharp Hasselblad lenses.. made with top of the mark camera parts. You can put different digital & film backs, even a large format backing! It was impressive. Walter repetitively had an objective opinion that it was all about the equipment, the camera a photogrpaher has. He portrayed that if we didn’t have the Phase1 camera, we are not good photographers… Did not like those words at all, and I’m sure that if Dali was still alive he would object with me.

http://www.phaseone.com/

Professional photographers were asking technical inquiries. Especially concerns that a photo shoot may unexpectedly have to deal with, and Walter never answered the questions thrown his way. He shut down the photographers with “Who gives a crap. All I know is it works” defense mechanism answers. He was a representative who should know a lot about the camera, but ironically he did not really know how it worked. We ask, and he would be “I don’t know. I don’t care to know what it’s all about. It’s magic”. It sucked that he didn’t know the nuts & bolts of the camera, coz instead of being impress, I found myself having more questions about the camera’s abilities. He spoke full of contradictions. He showed us videos where the camera was microwaved, stored in below zero environment & stepped on by an elephant. What I want to know is if it will still stay intact if it gets accidentally smashed on cement floor, or if it will still function after it falls in a puddle or water, which is a circumstance photographers may have to deal with.

Capture One Pro 4 has really interesting features that makes post-production editing of photos easier, but unlike programs like Adobe Lightroom & Aperture, it is very limiting. I found it pricier too compared to Adobe Lightroom with what it has to offer. I dont know about the Capture One Pro 4, but I can consider myself purchasing Phase One camera. I just did not appreciate how it was presented to us. I do not agree with Walter that having a good camera makes a good photographer. I still believe in the old standards of what defines a good photographer: Composition, Lighting and Creativity. I still use plastic cameras and other crappy cameras, because I like the beautiful effect of imperfection, and also I cannot afford to purchase my own non-consumer D-SLR, just yet. But that doesn’t stop me from creating good photographs. As a matter of fact, there is a revolution done by passionate photographers who were resourceful enough to come up withlighting solutions, given a limited budget. Yes, their solution may look tacky, but they are able to be in control of the given condition to make good photographs. Check the cool Strobist dude who made a revolution out of using lighting alternatives to create beautiful photographs:
http://strobist.blogspot.com/2009/06/dustin-diazs-daily-dose.html

Here’s to the Crazy Ones

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round
pegs in the square holes – the
ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules and
they have no respect for
the status quo. You can praise
them, disagree with them,
quote them, disbelieve them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you
can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.

- Jack Kerouac
quoted in an Apple Computer Ad, 1997

(www.elise.com/quotes/)

A fool for love

Facebook Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. Josan made a dream scrapbook 5 years ago out of naive idealism. I think there was 70 dreams there, and she had accomplished at least 10 of em

2. Josan enjoys all sorts of gourmet chocolates. She has to eat some every day. Sometimes she eat em for breakfast, sometimes she has them as appetizer and dessert. She always has emergency spares in her bag to munch on to prevent her from falling asleep in class

3. Josan also enjoys ice cream and pastries

4. Josan is craving for adobo, sisig, bagoong rice, laing, kare-kare, calamares, sinigang, etc… or anything in Dencio’s menu. Only in the Philippines.

5. Josan likes good food too much…

6. Josan likes to drink almost everything with a straw. In coffee shops, she has a habit of ripping the paper package tip off the straw, glances around to make sure nobody is looking, hold the straw from the ripped side with her lip and blows the paper package off into the garbage or up in the air

7. Josan is an extremely cheap drunk. She hates becoming beet red, so she usually doesnt drink, unless she’s at a friend’s house or she’s with Kayla who always knows what to get Josan even if she doesnt plan on drinking. Josan is either blissful or she dozes off to sleep when she’s drunk

8. Yoga and dance classes has this euphoric element that makes Josan feel beautiful. Nature walking, free flow writing & creating has this comforting element that consoles her soul. Josan is addicted to all of the above

9. When Josan is walking home alone & it is isolated, she stops her ipod & sings out soulfully to the dark of the night: “It Might Be You” by Stephen Bishop, “MoonRiver” by Audrey Hepburn, “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin or whatever BrokenRecord-song-is-stuck-in-her-head

10. Josan enjoys singing theatre/broadway songs with Josina when left unattended

11. Josan have two good friends that starts with Jos.. and they are both Dutch

12. Josan finds the unpredictability of the heart frightening & surprising, so she seeks comfort from sentimental/philosophical quotes

13. One of Josan’s favorite poet’s is Edgar Albert Guest and one of her favourite poem is “Her Reply” by Sir Walter Raleigh

14. Whenever sadness overwhelms her spirit, Josan reads excerpts from books by Paolo Coelho’s “Brida” and “The Alchemist”, Ranier Maria Rilke’s “Letters to a Young Poet” and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “The Little Prince”

15 . Whenever Josan is upset, she goes book shopping. More than half of the books in her collection are still waiting to be read

16. Josan has all these crazy plans she wants to accomplish after graduating from EmilyCarr. She wonders if there is enough time for them in between surviving & making money

17. Josan is worried that her enthusiasm in photography is starting to deteriorate… Noooooo… She has some reCommiting to work on

18. Josan has always been lazy uploading pictures she took. She always photographs using raw files & not jpegs, therefore making it time consuming to edit and go through the photos. She always get in trouble from people wanting copies of photos she took. She should motivate herself from the senseless procrastination

19. Josan likes cheese. Cheesyness comes naturally for Josan too

20. On days that seems purposeless or procrastinable, Josan would rather be in hybernation mode wearing fuzzy pajamas w/ soft warm blankets. She fantasizes having an empty wooden canvas w/ paints & brushes in front of her bed for her to work on when she feels like stretching her muscles

21. Josan has a bad habit of having the need to accomplish all her morning rituals (journaling, making & eating heavy breakfast, yoga, organizing a little, day dreaming), even if she knows she’s going to be late for class or an appointment. Oh! OC-ness…

22. Josan is passionate about acquiring new knowledge of her interest. She just finds it frustrating when her memory shrinks ant-size in random moments like in the middle of conversations.

23. Josan often wishes she was an eagle who could could fly up in the air and adventure outdoors whenever she feels like it. She likes the idea of being able to soar above a storm too, like the Philippine eagle.

24. Josan cherishes simple moments with friends & loved ones a LOT. Coffee/reading/study dates, being prepared/preparing homeCook meals, long walks (especially by the seaWall), heartWarming laughter, sincere exchange of affection… The feeling of being loved & reciprocating it

25. Josan misses her friends and everything about the Philippines. It’s been 9 years since she left her home country. Josan is full of love for her friends & family; She is very grateful for the people who were and are still part of her life.

Love for Josan is like a light from a candle, such a beautiful sight! So warm & comforting. Sometimes she cant resist getting too close to it, and she burns herself. It heals though! But the in-between proceess could be such a painful ordeal. It’s intolerable, yet she survives, though she looses her balance & goes day-by-day not certain if she is living or just existing. She fears that pain will numb her from living life to its highest potential, that is why HoPe is her refuge.

BookShopping Guilt

I once had a dream of being a war photographer last summer. It’s interesting because it’s November and I haven’t forgotten about it. As a matter of fact, it still sort of bothers me up to these days, since it made me wonder what it meant. Was it a metaphor of the wars in my life? or was it a literal depiction of a future career that awaits me in… war photography? It made me think of the people in the Magnum New York Master workshop I attended last March 2008 in Toronto… My fellow apprentice who are established war photographers like Dominiq Nahr of Toronto, he was only 19 yrs old, with a portfolio on his coverage of Gaza & Gyula from Budapest & his photos of the Afghan war & of course the handsome Magnum photographer Christopher Anderson’s coverage of the War in Lebanon…their photos of DEATH…. I’ll have to admit, being around them made me feel like a pathetic baby who is still crawling, while they are freely running around… as far as photo journalism is concerned. It was intimidating.

I know from conversations with them that they are able to distance themselves from the situation through the camera lense. I wonder if I am capable of that. I wonder how I’m going to deal with the trauma witnessing the gore of it all. I wonder if I’ll survive. I wonder if the experience will be lighter to deal with than the pangst of unrequited love. Every day last summer I wished I was a photo journalist covering the Congo war in Sietch Tabr, Zimbabwe. I guess that was the case because I wanted to die so badly from heartbreak. I desired it to be my escapism from heartaches, not just from romantic love, also from betrayals from those whom I leased expected it from, one of them my best friend of 10 yrs. I was so overwhelmed with life & its pains. It was one heartbreak to another. It was unbearable. I was smart enough to think that suicide was pathetic, nonetheless I wanted to die. I considered that if death came my way, I was hoping it’ll be a death with a purpose. I thought though it’s challenging, one way to fulfill this purpose is through being a war photographer. I wanted to play with the fire of fear, adrenaline rush and survival. I would like to challenge my ability to handle trauma. I would like to test my ability to such a challenge.

I remembered when I was 16 years old in the Philippines. I was suppose to be part of a conflict resolution agenda in the Mindanao region between Muslim & Christian farmers, to tame down the blood shed going on. It was offered by my school during the summer. I participated in the preparatory course at school. I hid it from my parents and I lied about it. I told them I was gona go to Mindanao, not for conflict resolution agenda, but to be immersed in living the life of a farmer for a month. At that time controversies of the conflict was prominent. Situations were solved through guns and intimidation. In spite my lies, my parents stopped me from going using superstition as an excuse & locking me in my room. At that time we were in the process of immigrating to Canada. They said it’s bad omen to travel through plane when you are in the process of making a big move. I knew subconsciously that they just stopped me because they were scared for my life. I was bitter with my parents as I was through the years that passed for stopping me/controlling me. I underwent processes to be involved in causes that meant a lot to me, but they stopped me in all possible ways. They underestimated my abilities to survive. They criticized me as being fragile/naive, too innocent & not being street smart enough. I was able to prove them wrong somehow.

Ironically, now that I live on my own, my desire to fight for a cause has worn out. It isn’t like it was in the past. What happened to my drive for adventure in being part of Katimavik? Where did my desire to fight for the lives of babies in Africa go? My yearning to win the YMCA Gandhi award, what happened to that too? Fear has coated my existence. I’m 25 and I wonder, am I healthy enough to deal with the physical, mental and emotional stresses part of causes that meant so much to me in the past? Will my body be able to tolerate malaria, dengue, typhoid, hunger & thirst? the sight of gore, blood, evil & death? I don’t know. I don’t know anymore what cause to fight for and it agitates me. I am confused and lost in the comforts of Canadian lifestyle. I feel like a lioness in a zoo cage who lies in the comfort & confines of being fed & taken cared of. All I do is sleep & linger around, observe people looking at me. It is comfortable. Part of my sub conscious wants to be in the forest. In the forest it is free though unpredictable. The forest is full of fear and one has to rely on survival instincts. Can I handle it? I do not know, unless I jump towards the circumstance if I am willing to do so. I want my drive/passion to return, but for the moment, I am existing, and my passion is nowhere to be found.

Dominiq Nahr

My head is overwhelmed with all these photo projects I would like to work around, but I do not know how and when I am able to have the chance to work on them. School projects that needs to be accomplish hurts my head, especially the academic aspect which i required to be taken if  want to graduate with a bachelors degree at Emily Carr University. Theory is good, but it eats up most of the time I would rather be using to work on photo shoots. Ugh! Sucks.

My ambition is being able to come up with a project that STRONGLY EMOTIONALLY RESONATES which progresses into a big a project that gets RECOGNIZED WORLDWIDE because of its INSPIRING NATURE to an infinite population like Frank Warren’s PostSecret project (Check out the mini-movie made on how it started HERE)

I Dont Hurt Anymore

McComfortable

and Davy Rothbart’s FOUND magazine project.

Thankyou for saying yes

I am a bit on the depressed side right now…again… I wish I could use the insanely mentally/emotionally insufferable nature of this depression as an inspiration for a good cause like Davy Rothbart  from FOUND Magazine and Frank’s Postsecrets. I am in still in so much pain from all these heartbreaks I’ve underwent. I,  with all sincerity wish I get inspired to vent out all these emotions/energy and create some sort of phenomena out of it.

Here is a pdf of a 12 page zine I created

HandwrittenLetter

There is a possibility that I might change my mind once again. But I am considering on creating a book on letter writing:

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

http://www.letterlover.net/

http://www.myspace.com/LetterLover

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=36166917

For the illustrator project, I decided to create a “Not All” series that is ongoing. I accomplished one for the time being.

Three years ago I was in Calgary wandering around China town in the morning with my mom. The old folks there were screaming or saying “Jo-san!” and I kept on glancing thinking my mom or somebody who knows me is calling me. I got weirded out when it seems to consistently happen. “Jo-san!” here, “Jo-san” there “Jo-san….” everywhere! My mom never taught me chinese so I asked in frustration “What the hell is going on? How come everybody seems to know me here, though they’re not acknowledging my presence?”. My mom casually replied “Oh yeah… your name means ‘good morning’ in chinese” Wow. I never knew until 3 years ago.